Building An Alien Spacecraft

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I’ve been doing this a long time.  Not blogging, as this is my first entry…but what I have been doing for a long time is attempting things beyond what I perceive to be my capability.  When I played basketball I dreamed of being a star despite my physical limitations, which I assure you were significant.  At least Larry Bird was 6’9″…

I was like this in everything I’ve ever done, including relationships.  I appeared to be a happy teammate or co-worker.  But internally, I was and continue to be a bit of a malcontent.  I want to be a STARTER not just on the team.  A HEADLINER not just a comic.  Be PASSIONATELY IN LOVE not just married.

Not bragging…in fact, I’m slightly ashamed of this aspect of myself and it has been the cause of some great existential conflicts in my life.  Most times, where I believe I should be is not where I believe I belong.  Ooo.  That’s pretty good.  I’m dropping wisdom bitches.  I have come a long way in this regard and have learned to be okay in my own skin, however itchy it may be.  That was only partly a metaphor.  I’m quite dry-skinned.

Years ago, when I told my family I was going to be quitting my ‘real job’ for THE BIZ, I might as well have told them I was going to build a spacecraft based on advanced alien technology and fly to another dimension.  Not only because there was no precedent for a real career in the arts around me, but because in retrospect looking back almost twenty years later…building a spacecraft may be the closest thing as audacious, unlikely and difficult. I’m from a small town filled with old apple orchards.  I’m a Masshole. Yet I still had to do it.  I just..had to.

If you have read this far, you probably have “had to” also.

So now I have decided to build another flying saucer.  I’m gonna make a movie.  I’ve written a feature length film and I’m gonna make it or die.  Those two may not be mutually exclusive.  That’s my script in the picture above.  It’s not my first feature length, but it’s the first one that’s gone much beyond my laptop.  I’ve blocked the title cuz I’m a bit paranoid about theft, another thing I’ve lived through in this business.

I’m going into this as a veteran.  Completely aware of the difficulties of the odds of someone like me attempting this type of space travel…and yet…I have to do it.  Is there any other way to live?